The Paradox of Routines: Why They Are Important, and Why They Are Important to Break (From Time to Time)

I think that many people collectively agree that routines are important. They help us stay organized, and for many children (especially neurodiverse children, anxious children, and children who struggle with executive functions), they can help us to stay regulated. Experts suggest that creating routines into habits takes about a month, and to establish a healthy habit, it is recommended that it is practiced consistently for 30 days. 

Routines can help children feel safe, and manage anxiety, as they can better predict the flow of daily-weekly-monthly happenings. If your child is struggling with anxiety, a visual schedule is highly encouraged with younger children to establish the predictability. This can be done with pictures, simple drawing, or words. Some children do better knowing in advance, so a weekly family visual planner is recommended. For others, it is enough to know what is happening on the day, in which case a daily visual chart will be helpful. Going over the routine verbally for the day during breakfast, or while driving to school can also be helpful to reinforce the awareness. 

Tech wise, this can be super simple and low tech (such as written or drawn visual lists that are in plain view), sticky notes, and lists that you can cross off. For kids that struggle with the change of routines (summer to school), or are having an acutely stressful time, visual planners for regular routines (nighttime routine or morning routing) with checklists are very helpful. As children get older, a handwritten planner is ideal (as handwritten notes stimulate different areas of the brain, and physically checking of items on a to-do list gives us a dopamine boost), and also familiarization with planning apps on tablets or laptops such as Monday, Click Up, and Smartsheet (which all have good reviews). 

So, now that we’ve discussed some of the simple reasons on why routines help children, let’s consider why it is also important to break routines for optimal health.

1. Improves neuroplasticity. Shifts in routine, especially with travel, can significantly enhance neuroplasticity, which is the brain’s capacity to make new connections. Visiting a place where different languages are spoken, exposure to different cultures, different foods, opens up the awareness of different cultures. 
2. Introduces novelty. Novelty helps our brain break rigid patterns. When we get too stuck on rigid routines, it can negatively impact us. Novelty keeps us alert, on our toes, and can broaden our perspective. 
3. Challenges the brain. The brain does like routine, but too much routine is very limiting for us. The brain is challenged with new routines, and forces us to adapt, break from familiarity, and when we do this, we grow new synaptic responses and connections. 
4. Improves cognitive flexibility. When we are exposed to new situations and things, we can adapt to challenges that come up within our normal routines with greater ease. We learn to get curious about different perspectives, and we are more able to identify or move out of being “stuck in a loop”. We can be more creative with problem solving in real time. 
5. Boosts mood and creativity. Exposure to novelty is very stimulating for our own creativity. Seeing and experiencing new things is eye opening and can lead to greater creative pursuits. It can inspire us to modify the way we view things, or how we do things. 

For many children, change in routine can feel scary. Some children are very rigid about types of foods that they tolerate, change in restaurants, or any other change in routine; especially if they are sensory sensitive, have trauma, or have anxiety. The best way to support children who struggle with this is to discuss things with them, show them pictures, and offer some ideas on the need for support or to take a break when experiencing the novelty. Build a lot of physical breaks into vacations, or trips, and scale back the overscheduling or overbooking of events, offering opportunities for down time a the pool, in the hotel or rental home, and getting outdoor time. Try to have a plan B for your sensitive child. If you are eating at a new restaurant, it’s OK if you need to bring an emergency snack or food; the combination of the new environment AND new, unfamiliar food may be too much. Baby steps are helpful for these kids. 

So, there are clearly benefits to having routines, and to breaking them. And even though this article is discussing children, we must also remember that it is equally as good for us adults. Mix it up now and again! A change in routine can help to change your outlook on life, to boost your mood, and even to grow new neuronal connections for you, as well as for your child.