We are living in incredibly busy times, that keep us overly-looped into our jobs, keeping up with all of our children’s school and sports events, household tasks, time for our partners, to the point that we rarely have time for authentic, one one one connections with our children. At our pediatric practice, we tend to get referrals for children that have issues with emotional regulation (often stemming from sensory processing issues),that negatively impacts their behavior.
While we often look to the foundational roots for any issue that we come across, considering diet and food sensitivities, retained primitive reflexes, and sensory processing issues, we also consider connection with the child to the parents. So, I invite you, as one parent to another and without judgement, to look at this aspect. How much time a day do you have with your child (or children) to fully connect with them? To play on their terms? To have 1:1 (screen and interruption free) time in the day? Time where you are not rushing from point A to point B, or doing the bed or morning routine?
This quality of this connection piece (or lack there of) may even be contributing to some of your child’s behavior. What if, in addition to the therapeutic support that your children receive, that you carve out time for them to just listen, be, or engage in any type of play that they prefer? I suggest experimenting with this.
As a parent (and an OT!), I have found myself in this predicament during my children’s own youth. Some days, after working with children, I would feel all “played out”, with little gas in the tank for my kids once I got home from work. At one point when my children were young, and I was working on the outskirts of Decatur, I literally did not see them during the day. I would wake them up and get them to school, go to work, and by the time I came home (my clients need after school hours), I would be kissing them and tucking them into bed. At this time in my life, I moved my practice closer to home, and made adjustments in my own schedule once I recognized the impact on my children and myself. Imagine: me working with other children all day and giving parents advice about connecting with their children when I barely saw my own? It was a real wake up call for me.
So parents, make the time to connect with your children in a present way. I say this as a parent with children who are now young adults–I still strive to make time to be with them, connect with them on their terms, and without any agenda. This phase that you are in with your child, although it may feel like it’s slow going, happens very quickly in the grand scheme of things. Taking the time to be with them, play with them, and connect with them on their terms and at their developmental level is so important. Put the screens away, stop looking at your emails, and whether it’s through imaginary play, board games, throwing or kicking a ball around, or just listening, be with your children. Even 15 minutes a day of uninterrupted time makes a significant impact.
Kate Drummond, OTR/L
Kate received her degree in Occupational Therapy in January 1997 from Keuka College, New York. Kate has worked in hospitals (adult and pediatric) including Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta at Egleston, outpatient clinics, and in the natural environment. Kate started AboutPlay in 2003. She is an intuitive empath, and has always had a passion for holistic healing. She has trained in a number of holistic clinical modalities including aromatherapy, reflexology, meditation, and yoga.
